Episode 31: Lainey Lui – Examining the “Canadian” Experience

Erin Davis: Hello and welcome to episode 31 of REAL TIME, Presented by CREA, the Canadian Real Estate Association. I’m your host, Erin Davis, and I cannot wait to dive into today’s conversation with you. It’s informative, insightful, and so much fun.

Canada frequently ranks as the best country in the world for its quality of life, which comprises our job markets, economic stability, family friendliness, safety, and a whole lot more, as you know. What does it mean to live in Canada as someone whose roots are not quite as deep? What lifestyle trends might have an impact on Canadian’s real estate decisions?

Today, on REAL TIME, we are joined by Canadian media figure Lainey Lui Etalk correspondent, author, founder of LaineyGossip.com, and cohost of CTV’s The Social, known for her elevated sociological perspective on the value of pop culture, not to mention her business acumen. Lainey joins REAL TIME to unpack the unique cultural trends and behaviors that might be shaping Canadian lifestyles plus a whole lot more.

Lainey, welcome. It’s so good to have you here on REAL TIME. We’re so excited. Thank you.

Lainey Lui: Thank You for having me.

Erin: Well, you have said to dive right into it here, you’ve said that your work covering celebrity culture, which you do exceptionally well in your LaineyGossip.com website, helps you better understand humanity. Now, can you start off by explaining that a little bit?

Lainey: Well, I think that there is definitely a stigma against celebrity culture, but also celebrity gossip and just gossip in general. I think that gossip is misunderstood or has been misunderstood, but we are starting to come around. Academics from Oxford University to Stanford have all put out papers and research on gossip as a very, very primitive and human form of communication. There is a sociological value to gossip because what gossip is, it’s an exchange of information.

When we are talking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston, the never-ending celebrity triangle. In that conversation that you have with somebody, you can actually find out what they think about marriage, about infidelity, about divorce, about women on women combat. It’s more of a reflection of what your value system is than what those subjects are. Brad, Angelina, and Jennifer. Is the conversation really about those three people or is it– the conversation does it become about what you think of marriage, what you think of cheating, what you think of building a family?

When I say that celebrity culture helps me understand humanity, it’s because gossip can’t exist in a monologue. When you’re gossiping, you’re always talking to somebody else, when you’re talking to-

Erin: That is interesting.

Lainey: Right?

Erin: Yes, you’re saying it holds up a mirror to ourselves. What you talk about is who you are. That’s very interesting.

Lainey: That’s right.

Erin: It has been around forever. First chronicled, I think in the year 1,000 or so by someone who put it in his sermon. Shakespeare wrote about it, and gossip has been seen as the voice and the empowerment of the powerless.

Lainey: Yes. When done responsibly, of course, like everything gossip can be negatively performed. There’s bad gossip and there’s good gossip. I try to gossip well. I have gossiped badly before. Occasionally I’m sure I gossip badly as we all do. We’re never going to get it perfect. At its core, gossip is a form of communication. It is an information exchange. That’s why it’s valuable.

Erin: Okay. While you’re talking about communicating and getting it right and trying to get it right every time, let’s talk just for a second. We’ll pull off at social media. You have been doing social media probably almost as long as it’s been around, if not since pretty close to the beginning. How does one avoid the pitfalls you navigate those shark infested waters every day Lainey, and we know that the entrepreneurs who are REALTORS® and use social media to get their messages out are probably saying, “Okay, this woman knows what she’s talking about. What can I learn from her about social media?” They’re not talking about me.

Do you have anything, any wisdom to impart as we depart from our conversation in a way?

Lainey: I don’t know if this is wisdom, because I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes on social media and have been called out for it. I don’t know that anybody is an expert. We all step in it. If I had to give any advice, I would say this. I think that before posting anything on social media, it’s always a good idea to hit pause. You don’t have to do it in that moment. You can walk away from it. I find that a lot of people who make mistakes on social media, if they could have just benefited from a little bit more time and a little bit more thought, I know it’s an immediate thing. It feels like it’s operating like, “I have to say this right now.” But do you have to?

Erin: Right?

Lainey: Do you have to? I think that number one, probably lots of people have said the same thing. It’s just for some reason doesn’t get executed. It doesn’t, people don’t follow that rule. I want to say that as the basic. Number two is when we’re talking about REALTORS® in particular, Erin, in my neighborhood, and I don’t know if it’s the case in yours, REALTORS® have been, you know those signs that they put up on the lawn, the “for sale” sign?

Erin: Sure.

Lainey: Typically, like they have their name and a lot of REALTORS® will have their photo. Some REALTORS® in my neighborhood have been using their baby photos. It’ll be like Jan Wong and instead of Jan Wong in Jan Wong’s REALTOR® suit, or outfit, shift dress, whatever. It’ll be Jan Wong as a toddler. It’s hilarious.

I think the reason I’m bringing this up to you, Erin, is because that spirit of creativity, whoever did that first and somebody else copied them, and more people copied them, that spirit of creativity, I think is what people need to tap into when they want to use social media for the real estate industry. Something fun, something really, really fun and funny. I think that if we can get at the essence of that on social media with the real estate industry, I think that would be a social media account that really sings

Erin: Excellent. It’s a matter of standing out. That’s what you do with all of your media positions and LaineyGossip.com and everything you’ve done for all these years. Now, Lainey, what have you learned about Canadians? What kind of people are we from your experience over the years in media? Because it’s not just one way, it’s not just you projecting,

Lainey: Well, as you just said, Erin, it’s not just one way. What I’ve learned about Canadians are we are not a monolith. For a long time, I think that we all fell into that trap that Canadian meant one identity, and that stereotype was hockey, beer, saying sorry, polite. I think that those definitions are too narrow now. I do also think that Canada has realized that that definition is too narrow. That we are not all into hockey. That we’re not all into beer. That some of us can be rude. Some of us can still be polite, but sometimes we’re not nice all the time.

To answer your question, what I’ve learned about Canadians, I think that when we start to look at ourselves as Canadians as not a monolith and not one thing, it’s actually quite freeing. We don’t have to be trapped in this reputation of hockey, beer, beavers, maples, and all of that. When we accept that we don’t have to be all those things, the possibility is endless for what we can be.

Erin: You speak from a place of vast experience having come to Canada. Your parents did, and then they had you. You were born here, and so you grew up same day as me, by the way. You and I share a beautiful birthday. As the daughter of immigrant parents, Lainey, what was that experience like for you?

Lainey: Well, my parents came to Canada from Hong Kong because they felt that they would have more opportunity here in Canada. They felt that if they had a child who was born in Canada, I, who ended up being their only child, would essentially be able to pursue any dream.

In terms of my experience, the bonus is that I have these parents who sacrificed and left everything behind to give me everything that they couldn’t have or to give me everything that they hoped to have and couldn’t. That’s wonderful. It’s so beautiful. What a gift. I think sometimes the downside can be that I am carrying all their dreams too, and that is a really complicated thing to live with.

Erin: Especially as an only child. It’s not like you have siblings, but look at you though. You have risen to the absolute heights of Canadian media and beyond. You’re also a published author, we should say. You have a book that details your relationship growing up with your mom and being the daughter of immigrant parents so the pressures, the burden on your shoulders to make good on their promise to each other and to you, as you say, was huge.

Lainey: It was huge and I think that that’s not every immigrant’s experience, but it probably is a common one and I think that I just happen to be someone in most cases who thrives under pressure. I don’t know if that’s because of whatever my parents gave to me and shaped me, but I also know that there are people, not everyone operates that way. There are people who thrive in more stable and peaceful conditions, and that may be better that, I don’t know.

It’s not a competition, but I think that in those cases, it can be a struggle. It can be a struggle to have your parents experiencing an entirely new thing and then you as a child having to wear that as well, having to absorb that stress from them.

I imagine for a lot of people, that also has been very formative and not necessarily in the best way. I think that immigrant stories are also not a monolith and I think that it’s going to be more and more valuable for all of us to hear from all of those faces of what immigration looks like.

Erin: When we return. Lainey Lui shares her own family’s experience in coming to Canada five decades back. Maybe it’ll resonate with your story. From a close eye on the economy and government to economic stats and analysis, CREA has you covered, enhancing your knowledge and giving you the best information to pass along to clients. Learn more about what CREA does for you @CREA.ca. Now back to Etalk correspondent and co-host of The Social, as well as first generation Canadian, Lainey Lui on REAL TIME.

Getting back to the newcomer experience and moving on to the general population if we can. Canada, we like to think is a great country for newcomers. Tell me about what your family’s experience has been as newcomers in Canada.

Lainey: This was in the ’70s and so their experience was, it was tough. The language barrier was definitely an issue. Having qualifications that sometimes didn’t transfer from one country to the other was also an issue. Think about when we go traveling, you need to orient yourself. I’ve had experiences going traveling and I’ve gotten lost just walking outside of my hotel and for my family, orienting themselves was a challenge. Figuring out how to get from one part of the city to the other, all of those things on top of a language barrier and a culture barrier, that for sure was challenging.

Was it worth it in the end? Both My parents would say 100%. In REAL TIME, it was a struggle and I think that right now, I definitely think that the situation, there’s more diversity.

There’s definitely more communities especially in the Asian diaspora, the Chinese diaspora, that can make people feel more at home and certainly in other backgrounds too. Back then there was a time when it was harder to find support. It is, and those challenges still exist, but I’m hoping that we’re much more aware of them in talking about them more like, for example, on this podcast where institutions and systems can change to accommodate everybody.

Erin: What are some of the things 50 years later after what your parents experienced, but now what should people be aware of Lainey, when we’re trying to make new Canadians feel at home?

Lainey: I think that Canada is known for its kindness, and I don’t disagree that that is Canada’s reputation, but I do think that we still, in this country, racism does exist. Alienation does still exist, making people feel other certainly exists. I think we can improve on all of that.

In terms of what we can do better and how we can make more people feel at home, maybe it goes back to that whole thing about Canada being a monolith and having to look one way or having to act one way or be interested in one way. I think it goes back to that where I think in our minds, if we can get past, if we close our eyes, what does a Canadian look like to you or sound like to you? If we can get past one image, then I think that will translate into our actions and how we react to people.

Erin: Change is so difficult on both sides.

Lainey: I know.

Erin: Lainey, you speak and you listen for a living and you talk to a lot of people who are from outside Canada, and I think they do see the stereotypes if they see us at all. Is it realistic how people perceive us?

Lainey: I think we should want to make it realistic, but I don’t think it’s real now. Does that make sense?

Erin: More of an aspiration.

Lainey: I talk to a lot of people. It’s my job to interview people just like you. The people I interview who are not from Canada, they do have this dreamland ideal version of what Canada is, that we have this amazing kind country and we’re so polite and everybody’s happy here.

I think that’s a beautiful dream but I also think that that reputation for Canada holds Canada back because if we think we’re perfect, then we’re not. Why should we try to get better and progress? I think that in buying into that stereotype and that reputation of being the best, it can be a blocker, a barrier to listening.

If we already think that we’ve achieved ideal, we have set the standard in what a nation should be, then criticism doesn’t get heard. Other voices who put their hands up and be are like, “Hey, but it’s not great for me.” Those people aren’t listened to. I think that reputation for Canada from thinking what I hear from people and listen, I think we’re all a little bit aware of it.

We pat ourselves on the back when some celebrities comes to Canada and says in an interview, “I love Canada, you guys are so great here.” Our chests get puffy and we’re like, “Yes, we’re awesome.”

Erin: You see us.

Lainey: Sometimes I think that that could– well, it’s great to hear, obviously. I do think that sometimes it can hold us back from progress.

Erin: The good being the enemy of the best or the better. I have to tell you, a few weeks ago there was a list that came out that Canada is the number one country in the world that people would like to move to and one of the responses when I retweeted was, “Yes, it’s true. I’m sick of the complainers, and if they don’t like it, they can leave.” We’ve heard that trope forever so I answered, “Or they can stay and help us to make it a better country.”

Lainey: Love that.

Erin: It was a pretty wishy washy stand on my part, and I don’t think I’m going to get the order of Canada for it, but you’re not allowed to put your hand up and say, “But over here there’s this, this and this.” You have spoken, Lainey, about choice, the word choice and what it means to you really is what you value most about living in Canada. Can you elaborate on that for us?

Lainey: I should say that for me, and a lot of people in my position, the fact that I have choices is a certain privilege, and so I see that, and I 100% appreciate that a lot of people don’t have the choices that I do. For me in my life, yes, I have the privilege of having a choice with the kind of life I would like to lead. I right now have chosen to live in a metropolis. I live in a huge city that suits my life. Yet within that huge city, I live in a neighborhood that is quite quiet and when I choose to go to the film festival and have a pretty wild, fun, loud, lit up life for two weeks in a row during the film festival, I can do that. Then when I choose to hunker down in my quiet little neighborhood and only venture three blocks in every direction for a few weeks, that works too. Canada provides that for me. The Canada where I live gives me those options and that choice. It can be a big city and feel like a tiny town at the same time.

Erin: You truly have lived the best metropolitan experiences outside of, say Montreal and Ottawa, Halifax, all of the other major metropolises that may think, ”Hey, what about us?” For Toronto and Vancouver, just looking at the restaurants and the variety of flavors, it’s mind boggling. It’s almost too much if there can be such a thing because there is so much choice. Again, it goes back to that word choice. You’ve honed in on monolith and choice which are almost too extremes.

Lainey: It’s true. I think that the diversity of our population allows for those choices. You just mentioned restaurants. Even something as simple as where to eat or what to eat. We in this country have those choices. I think that to go back to how that contrasts with what a monolith is, it would be the equivalent of eating the same meal every single day or endlessly.

When we talk about choice and we talk about diversity, it naturally just makes things at least in my opinion much more interesting to be able to eat a variety of different foods, to be able to have a variety of different conversations from people who are from a variety of different backgrounds so that you’re not just surrounding yourself with the same because you don’t grow when it’s same.

Erin: Exactly. Someone said, I don’t know if it was Will Rogers or who it was 100 years ago that said, “If you want the same things, stay home.” If people who go to Europe or Asia or whatever and say, “Well, they didn’t have the same food.” Well, then you should have stayed home.

Lainey: Exactly. Then I think within our homes too, we can start exploring a variety. Home is home but within our homes, let’s say our home community, our home neighbourhoods, it only enriches our experiences and our children’s experiences with a different perspective. I think that Canada is a country that has that potential that can offer that framework to families and to its residents.

Erin: Coming up, the changes in the way we live our day-to-day lives with co-host of The Social on CTV, Lainey Lui. Whether it’s helping victims of wildfires in BC, raising big money for a crisis helpline in Fredericton, or serving up the comfort of home in Ottawa, Guelph, Medicine Hat and Durham, REALTORS® Care. We know you do. Share your story on social media with the #realtorscare and spread the word. If you don’t, who will? Oh, and by the way, well done. You are what being part of a community is all about.

We now return to our really fun chat with Lainey Lui, author and host of LaineyGossip.com.

How has life in Canada evolved over the years in the way that Canadians live, work, or play? Obviously the last couple of years, some have said that two years of COVID have set us ahead five, 10 years in where we were going. What have you personally seen, Lainey?

Lainey: For me and you brought up COVID and for me in my life and lifestyle, I always loved my home. A big part of that is because I share it with someone I adore and our dogs. This is the best place for me, my home. I think that during the pandemic, I spent two years working from home every single day. Home became even more of life. Home was everything and you become so much more intimately connected to your home. Home also in that case includes your neighbourhood.

Again, I’ve always loved my house, I’ve always loved where I live in my neighbourhood, but I became obsessed with this neighbourhood where I live because Jacek and I, my husband were out with our dogs constantly.

In lockdown, we couldn’t do anything. The only thing a lot of us could do was walk. I became obsessive about my neighbourhood. I love the streets, I love the corners, specific corners of our neighbourhood. I loved the shops and so I wonder if other people can relate. I became much more engaged in my local community and wanting to support local businesses.

I think we saw that with those light up hearts that show up in the windows and it’s not that I wasn’t into supporting local businesses before, but it became almost a purpose for us. I think it was that way for a lot of other people where you wanted to make sure to take care of the businesses that made your neighbourhood special.

Erin: The pizza joint that doesn’t have a jingle you can sing. That may not be there if you don’t buy from them.

Lainey: That’s right. The small coffee shop. That restaurant that makes the best ribs and it feels just so good to walk in there on a Sunday night. The bakery, I could go on and on.

Erin: You are making me hungry, Lainey.

Lainey: I think that for me that now is going to be a lifestyle. I’ll always want to engage in a much more meaningful, purposeful way with my immediate community. I think that that’s what really for me personally changed in how I live now because of the last three years.

Erin: How does Canada’s vast mix of cultural and ethnic backgrounds enrich the fabric of the country? We’ve been talking about inclusiveness and embracing and exposing yourself and all of these different experiences. What’s in it for us as a country and not just as individuals, Lainey?

Lainey: I really love this question because this is an important conversation. It can be a very serious conversation because this is a very, very serious problem, sometimes diversity and representation and people feeling like they’re not included and othered and of course it’s serious and it’s pressing.

That said, I think in so many of the conversations around diversity, what we need to also focus on is that the more diverse a place is, the more fun it is. We’re all here to have fun. We’re all here to maximize the joy in our lives. Really there’s nothing more joyful than to have a place where everybody is able to participate and share, where you’re learning and exploring and being exposed to different points of view, to different music, to different cultures. That means different food.

To go back to that example about eating, again it’d be so boring to eat the same thing every single day or just listen to the same album over and over again. You were in radio for how long. Imagine, Erin, if you just played the same album all day during your shift.

Erin: I hear you.

Lainey: Right?

Erin: Yes.

Lainey: I think that what we also need to remember and focus on is that diversity means fun. I think that there are so many people out there who have this misconception. It’s totally wrong that diversity means that your life will go badly or that things will change for the worst. That is not the case.

Erin: It’s not being taken away from you. It’s adding to you.

Lainey: Yes. It’s fun. It’s more lively. It’s more vibrant. I think that, that is what Canada can be better at in terms of we’re already a country that, yes, is rich in diverse cultures and people from different backgrounds and how many languages we can hear just walking down the street in so many of our cities. You can hear just on one city block, especially in Toronto, one city block, you can hear dozens of different languages. That is wonderful. We can make it more so, we can make it even more fun.

Erin: Up next on REAL TIME. Call it feng shui, superstition, whatever you want but do not dismiss the list. Loving this episode? Me too. Catch up on all of the previous episodes and seasons of REAL TIME by just going to CREA.ca and putting REAL TIME in the search bar. Then subscribe, so you don’t miss one informative and entertaining minute. I’m Erin Davis, so I get to be your host for this. Now back to Etalk correspondent, author Elaine Lui of Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When Mother Knows Best. What’s a Daughter to do? Lainey Lui.

I’m going to take advantage of you being here with me because you’re going to enlighten us all a little bit about some of the things that REALTORS® should be aware of when they have a client who comes from a different cultural background. In your case, I’m thinking feng shui and the stories that you tell about Lainey’s checklist. This could be a whole nother podcast, but take us through it. It’s hilarious. Go ahead, Lainey.

Lainey: Listen I like many homeowners had a checklist. It’s just that mine was mostly determined by my ma, therefore, mentioned squawking chicken. I wrote a book about her.

Erin: Oh she’s a squawking chicken. This I didn’t know.

Lainey: She is, yes. The title of the book is Listen to the Squawking Chicken because squawking chicken is actually my ma’s nickname from the time where she was a kid because she’s so loud and opinionated and assertive that all the villagers and her family called her a squawking chicken. You couldn’t ignore the squawking chicken. My parents are Chinese. My ma is deeply Chinese superstitious. We have our own set of superstitions and we have our own zodiac. My ma believes deeply in feng shui like many other Chinese families.

My checklist for our home was mostly determined by Chinese feng shui principles. They can be very complicated. There are some people who go so far as saying I need my front door to face east or west or whatever.

Now for my ma, she was like, I’ll give you an example. One of the things that she said to me was that, you cannot buy a house where the staircase faces the front door because what that means is your luck will fall down the stairs and tumble out the door. You won’t be able to keep luck in this house.

Erin: Your chi is gone, it’s making a run for the door. I know that one well. Okay.

Lainey: For a lot of Chinese families, for a lot of Chinese people looking for a home, they don’t even want a tree on the front lawn because that’s considered a blocker like it will block. If you have a big tree sitting outside and for some people, it doesn’t matter. For some Chinese families, this doesn’t matter. That was one of the things too where she was like, “You really shouldn’t have obstructions in front of the house.”

Anyway, again to go back to the staircase, we told our REALTOR® here’s our budget, here’s what we’re thinking, here’s the size but one thing you can’t show us, we don’t want to see is a home with a staircase that goes right out the front door, faces the front door because I can’t live here. We went to see all these homes and we put an offer on a couple and it didn’t work out. We were living in Vancouver at the time and we were looking for a home in Toronto.

My ma was doing some of the looking and then one day she called, she’s like, “I found the house. You’re done. You can just buy this one.” We’re still in Vancouver at this point and I’m like, “Okay, can you send me the listing?” We look at the listing and I’m like, “Ma, there’s a staircase that goes out the front door. What are you talking about?” She was like, “This house is an exception because it’s on a corner lot which means that you have multiple exits, which means flexibility.”

When a home provides multiple ways to come in and out, there’s a backyard door, there’s a front door. She was like, then it doesn’t really matter because you’re opening up so many doors to luck in your house. That’s the exception. Then I went back to tell our real estate agent. I was like, “Hey, so my ma has went to see this house and she says it’s perfect so can you call up the–?” She was like, “I would’ve shown you this house, but the front door faces a staircase. What are you talking about?” I was like, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that my ma had exceptions to her rules and she found one for this one.” Anyway, long story short, we bought our house without ever setting foot in it. My ma approved this house then we went back and forth with the offers, then we bought the house. My first time being in my home was moving into my home.

Erin: Wow. You trust that woman and so does your husband.

Lainey: Yes, exactly.

Erin: Wow. Now you did say there is one other thing that could knock something off of ma’s list and that’s if it’s a really good price.

Lainey: Listen, everybody has their checklists of deal breakers and what those are, but a deal breaker can it be swayed by a deal? Is there a flex point? I don’t know for sure if my ma could be swayed by a certain flex point but I will say she loves a deal. If there was something that was a no go on our list, but there was a deal to be had like a gigantic discount, then she might be able to make an exception and probably she would’ve had to consult a feng shui master to get a blessing in the form of a charm where I would hang it somewhere to offset the bad luck of whatever issue that she took off the list.

Erin: Okay. The advice I’m hearing for REALTORS® who are listening is maybe present that house just in case.

Lainey: Yes. If it’s a really good deal.

Erin: When we return, we’ll share some parting thoughts and more laughs plus luck trends and a whole lot more. You never know what you’ll find when you pull up a virtual seat at our CREA Café. Enjoy fascinating tidbits, engaging blogs, and lots more. It all awaits you at CREA Café. Go to CREA.ca and join us there. We’re open 24/7.

We’re going to wrap up here on an actionable, Lainey, and I could talk to you for hours but I know you’ve got a show to get ready for and all the other jobs that you have. Why is it important to stay on top of lifestyle trends which you and the ladies of The Social do so well and how can REALTORS® use these trends to better support their clients?

Lainey: Erin, sometimes I think trends, some of them can be very fleeting so, I don’t know, a cut of pants or a style of coat or whatever is only going to be on trend, so to speak for a year. I also think that there are certain trends that are deeper and that they reflect the choices that people are making in their lives.

One example I can say is when I first started paying attention to homes and where people lived, it was in that whole movement where everybody was and people were building homes and looking for homes that was open concept because about 20 years ago-ish, 25 years ago, Martha Stewart Living exploded. Do you remember that?

Erin: Oh, of course.

Lainey: On the talk shows, all people would talk about was entertaining and having people over and so people would have, instead of in the past where you had in homes like rooms sectioned out where there was like a wall between the living room and the kitchen, blah, blah, blah, right? Now, or at that point everything was open concept. I guess that’s been the norm. That trend became a norm because that was how people were living their lives. They did not want to be in separate rooms.

Interestingly, I think in the last few years we’ve been hearing about more people wanting a little bit of separation in their homes. You don’t necessarily want the kitchen to feed right into the other rooms. I wonder if it’s because, and some people have theorized it’s because we’ve all spent the last two, three years living on top of each other, spending so much time together and you want a little bit more separation.

Erin: Right. Bring in the barn doors or the French doors or whatever doors but just give me some space.

Lainey: Exactly. That trend of people looking for homes with a little bit more separation and not quite as open concept, it relates to perhaps choices in life that people are making. When you ask me about why is it important to stay on top of lifestyle trends, it’s because if you just dig a little deeper in these trends, it gives you a really, I think, good snapshot into people’s lives, into what life they are wanting for themselves, how they envision their lives. It’s more than just a fleeting, ephemeral mood. It’s more than a mood and it’s more than a moment. I think that’s why certain trends are worth paying attention to.

Erin: Do you realize you’re also talking about gossip? That’s very interesting because it completely turns around, it goes full circle to the beginning of our conversation in that the trends and gossip mirror who we are. Look at you.

Lainey: I didn’t put that together, but that’s why you’re doing what you’re doing, Erin.

Erin: Wow. Very interesting. I do have to ask you one thing, how many years you’ve been in your house that ma picked out for you?

Lainey: We moved into our house in July of 2013 so nine years.

Erin: I have to ask you this now. How’s your luck been?

Lainey: Okay. If you really want to go there, Erin and I have found that people love talking about feng shui. There are some people who scoff at it and they’re like, “Ugh, superstitions, that’s so stupid and why would you believe something like that?” But when people get into it, it’s as engaging or even more than celebrity gossip.Anyway, about feng shui. The thing about luck and feng shui is even when you’re lucky, if you happen to be having some good luck, you should never talk about it because luck is very finicky. If luck thinks that you’re not appreciative of it, or you’re ungrateful or you’re bragging about it, it will be like, “No I’m going to bounce. I don’t need to be with this person who doesn’t deserve me.”

You asked me a question, how lucky I’ve been. That’s why I’m not answering. I do not want to jinx whatever good or bad situation I have here. All I’ll say is that I love my home. My home has been good to me because I share it with beautiful creatures. My husband and my two dogs.

Erin: Ma doesn’t live there?

Lainey: No.

Erin: Okay. Just checking.

Lainey: She lives in her own place. That’s a good segue to real estate and people looking for homes, because my parents are aging and my ma has a disability. The reality which no one wants to confront, but it’s coming for you. The reality is one day I may have to take care– I’m already their caregiver and I’m already doing a lot for them, but one day I may have to take care of one of them or both in my own home. That’s going to be a whole new checklist. I guess, like the thing for REALTORS®, if we’re looking for more advice, it’s that people’s circumstances can change. When you have build a relationship with somebody, you should invest in that relationship because you never know when that relationship will spark up again, given the changes in their lives.

Erin: That’s a very, very good point. There’s so much wisdom and such a joy to talk with you here today, Lainey. Thank you and how lucky we’ve been to have you on our podcast today. Thanks again and we’ll talk to you again soon, I’m sure.

Lainey: Thank you so much, Erin. It was so fun talking to you.

Erin: Watch Lainey Lui on CTV’s Etalk and The Social, and you can of course keep up on the latest dish on her site, LaineyGossip.com. The name of her book, in case you missed it, is: Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When Mother Knows best. What’s a Daughter to do? Her name as author is Elaine Lui, L-U-I.

Thanks for joining us for episode 31 of REAL TIME. Download, rate and enjoy every episode wherever the best podcasts are heard. I’m Erin Davis. REAL TIME is brought to you by the Canadian Real Estate Association, produced by the team at Alphabet® Creative with technical production from Real Family and Rob Whitehead.

Thanks for giving us some of your time today and we will talk to you again soon on REAL TIME.